hell-on-wheels

I emerge from a coma-like deep sleep. Something is huffing into my ear, nibbling on it and slobbering all over my face. I glance at the alarm clock. 4:51am. That would be Tory, the hell-on-wheels puppy. Time to go play with the soccer ball. My eyes are almost sealed shut. I feel fatally exhausted after the last two weeks of nightly rehearsals and the premiere and matinee of Cleopatra! on Friday and Saturday. Plus I'm sick, I think.
I feel my way out of the room, it's still dark. Birds are starting to sing. On the way I locate my jacket. This time nobody peed on it, hurrah. I hold on tight to the railing as I go down the steps. The two German shorthaired pointers compete in who'll trip and kill me first. Being outside at 5am is very peaceful and somewhat refreshing. We kick the ball around for half an hour, Tory gets some food and water and a chewing bone. I'm hoping it will keep her busy enough to let me sleep some more. Wish I thought of that earlier. When I come back to the room I'm staying in, I note the odd shape of the curtains. Chunk is missing. Some hell-on-wheels has swallowed it. Just as I resign and am about to crawl under the blankets I smell something familiar. The hell-on-wheels peed and pooped on my comforter. After spending half an hour outside. <@#$!!!@#$!>. Whoever invented puppies should be put in the public cage of shame, just like they had in the Middle Ages. I saw it during the "Know Your Town" excursion in Bratislava. I go get a new comforter, bring this one downstairs. I fall asleep to the sounds of Tory chewing on a plastic bottle and attempting to bite Mia's head off. When they wake me up at 8am, I am far more tired. Everybody peed and pooped everywhere again. This will be a loooong week. Why did I volunteer to housesit again? Ah yes, serenity I thought. Alone in a big house. Damned fool!
After another soccer ball session the hell-on-wheels demands to get on my lap in the kitchen. She curls up, and falls asleep like a little snuggle bunny. You don't fool me, little one. If only I could freeze her like this. Hmmm, there's an idea....